Lost and found and found and found

September 15, 2011 § Leave a comment

I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of thoughts and feelings and new things that are going through my head. This is of course, not at all true, because I’m about to try to do it right now. But I’m doing it in list form for purely organizational reasons.

1. I’m on the board. I joined the board of directors for L’s daycare. I can’t say too much about it because we’re having our first meeting tonight (!!) but I’m already excited about it–a glimpse into how daycare works. Did you know that there are different philosophies for early childhood education?? WHO KNEW? (Except for everyone that works in early childhood education.) So there’s a little voice that’s going what the hell did i sign up for? because there are meetings to attend and budgets to approve, but I think that the amount that I’ll learn about the center, about how a board works, about people, about myself, will make it worth it. Also, they’re serving veggie lasagna for tonight’s meeting. So, score.

2. I went to my first science conference…and also have a science blog. Because I am dorky. I presented a poster and went to talks and will probably write more in depth about it at lab-girl-writes because I don’t want to inundate you here with it.

3. Transitioning to soccer mom. Some of L’s daycare friends are on the YMCA soccer team, so I inadvertently signed L up and she’s on the waitlist for the team. I secretly home she doesn’t get on, because if she does, I know what I will be doing every. saturday. morning. at 8:50. Until the end of time. (aka october). I’m only half kidding. I secretly am really excited and will soon be bugging all of you to come watch my 3 year old “play” soccer. I’ll be the one with the coffee and the bailey’s. Just sayin’.

4. Reading. I’ve started reading again. I completely decimated the game of thrones series, but I’m reading good stuff too. I just started Cleopatra: A life, as well as Francine Prose’s Reading like a writer which I cannot WAIT to finish and recommend. She has this amazing booklist at the end and I’m really excited to start on that and revisit a lot of the classics that I was forced to read in high school/college and subsequently do not remember anything about them. (My mother was a fish, something about symbolism of some green lantern thing, and You your best thing, sethe, you are) <–literally a summation of what I read in high school.

5. Science Ok, I said I would save this for my other blog, but some is here too–I LOVE science. I had an amazing time at this conference, so now/not now/eventually/or whatever I need to decide, grad school?? genetic counselling?? What do I do with my life?

6. Alex/Lena/Aspen/Relationships. For whatever reason, I’ve hit a stride with relationships. Between the boyfriend/the best friend/having a daughter/being a daughter, I would just like to say I have been rocking out all of these things. Alex and I are doing great. Aspen’s on campus more (getting her Masters in Planning (amazzzinggg)) so we get to see each other more, Lena is just, Lena, and my parents and I have been getting along so well. It’s incredible. I hope I can keep it up, because jeez, this is how it should be.

7. Speaking of relationships, I feel like I’m only just beginning to get to know my grandmother. I got to spend some time with her while I was in DC, and wow, she is a really amazing woman. I will without a doubt be writing more about that.

8. With all of this it’s really hard to grasp the fact that I’m only 23. Sometimes I feel self-conscious about it. People that aren’t in my situation tend to look at their own experiences and say to me, ‘but you’ve never lived away from home, you haven’t traveled a lot, you haven’t had a lot of jobs’ and I used to think that that was the only range of experience people were supposed to have. Like in your twenties you’re supposed to move to a big city and be poor or go to China and teach english or be a bike messenger or work on a manuscript, and I thought that was how it was supposed to be. But I’m just kind of realizing, you know what? I think I’m going to be on the board of directors and be a soccer mom in my 20s, and see where the world takes me. For one of the first times in my life (now, right now) I’m learning to not be so apologetic for my actions and decisions. And only you can make yourself feel inferior. And the next time someone “feels sorry” for me, I’m gonna be like, don’t. Please don’t. I get to play Left for Dead before picking up my kid at daycare. I get to stand and watch my kid chase a soccer ball while drinking coffee and baileys at 9 am on a saturday. I have a best friend. I have a family. I said this to Alex last night, and he called me out on it, in such a good way. I am so blessed. There’s not really a better way to put it. Blessed. And I’m only 23. And I’ve got my whole life to live. My whole life! Gosh, can you just imagine it?

Parenting tips

March 31, 2011 § Leave a comment

Aspen got a puppy recently.

And it’s been awesome.

Because I finally have someone to exchange parenting tips with!

For instance, last night, I was lamenting that Lena still wasn’t asleep, and Aspen suggested putting her in a crate with a rope toy! Replace “crate” with “crib” and “rope toy” with “stuffed giraffe”, and you’ve got yourself some great advice!

Yay peer group!

Marriage

February 17, 2011 § 1 Comment

My brain is like, inundated with weddings right now. I’m going to two weddings this spring/summer, which is like, two more than I’ve been to as a consenting adult AND a with a date, so I’m really excited about the prospects of an open bar and a new dress. Oh, and you know, a celebration of love. That too.

And then one of my best friend’s since, not third grade, because I didn’t really know who she was in third grade, she started school late because she had the chicken pox, and we didn’t know who the new kid Charliss was, but since middle school at least, goes and gets herself engaged (congrats Chala!) and now I really am like, obsessed.

Don’t get all weird on me, I’m not obsessed-obsessed, it’s just fun. It’s a super big party, and it’s fun hearing about wedding dresses and choreographed dances, and it’s even more fun when it’s Charliss, and it’s closer to home, plus, have you planned a wedding lately? Do you know how many beautifully designed blogs dedicated entirely to wedding planning there are? (I love this one in particular. Is everyone in southern California this beautiful and creative?) And Anthropologie has a wedding line? I digress.

It’s bittersweet, because my uncle is going through a tough divorce and Charliss is the first of our friends to get engaged and living at home means that every day I am witness to my parents marriage which seems to be the most comfortable natural thing in the world. I used to not think my parents loved each other, because they didn’t seem affectionate in the way that I thought married couples should be affectionate, and then they never did corny things like “date nights”, they just seemed to generally enjoy each other’s company. That’s friends, not love, to a middle schooler. And as I’m “maturing” or just, getting older, I see my parent’s marriage and my relationship with my parents as something to aspire to. My parents are best friends, they spend almost all day together, each and every day. And I love the little bits of affection that I’m privy to. Like when my dad got his grant, and I listened to them stay up late and talking in bed. (Seriously, until like, 10. That is really late for my parents.) And the way they talk to each other every morning, and night when one of them goes out of town. Why do you need to talk to someone right before they go to bed and when they first wake up in the morning? Nothing happened, you were just sleeping! I guess that’s what people in love do.

Having Lena means any relationship that I’m in is immediately taken to another level whether I like it or not. Alex and I already understand that we have a third person depending on us, on our relationship, and that’s hard. It’s a variable that neither of us bargained for and that we are constantly working to understand and to work through. That being said, marriage doesn’t seem like a big scary next step to me. Not that it’s supposed to, I just sometimes wonder if it should. I’m 20-something and I’m supposed to be wanting to get married, right? But I’m not. I’m more excited about attending all of these fun weddings. And cheering on my best friend in her next step, and her celebration of love. I’m more looking forward to the next challenges that Lena brings. The little day to day ones. And I’m really looking forward to facing and sharing those with another one of my best friends, Alex.

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