Lost and found and found and found

September 15, 2011 § Leave a comment

I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of thoughts and feelings and new things that are going through my head. This is of course, not at all true, because I’m about to try to do it right now. But I’m doing it in list form for purely organizational reasons.

1. I’m on the board. I joined the board of directors for L’s daycare. I can’t say too much about it because we’re having our first meeting tonight (!!) but I’m already excited about it–a glimpse into how daycare works. Did you know that there are different philosophies for early childhood education?? WHO KNEW? (Except for everyone that works in early childhood education.) So there’s a little voice that’s going what the hell did i sign up for? because there are meetings to attend and budgets to approve, but I think that the amount that I’ll learn about the center, about how a board works, about people, about myself, will make it worth it. Also, they’re serving veggie lasagna for tonight’s meeting. So, score.

2. I went to my first science conference…and also have a science blog. Because I am dorky. I presented a poster and went to talks and will probably write more in depth about it at lab-girl-writes because I don’t want to inundate you here with it.

3. Transitioning to soccer mom. Some of L’s daycare friends are on the YMCA soccer team, so I inadvertently signed L up and she’s on the waitlist for the team. I secretly home she doesn’t get on, because if she does, I know what I will be doing every. saturday. morning. at 8:50. Until the end of time. (aka october). I’m only half kidding. I secretly am really excited and will soon be bugging all of you to come watch my 3 year old “play” soccer. I’ll be the one with the coffee and the bailey’s. Just sayin’.

4. Reading. I’ve started reading again. I completely decimated the game of thrones series, but I’m reading good stuff too. I just started Cleopatra: A life, as well as Francine Prose’s Reading like a writer which I cannot WAIT to finish and recommend. She has this amazing booklist at the end and I’m really excited to start on that and revisit a lot of the classics that I was forced to read in high school/college and subsequently do not remember anything about them. (My mother was a fish, something about symbolism of some green lantern thing, and You your best thing, sethe, you are) <–literally a summation of what I read in high school.

5. Science Ok, I said I would save this for my other blog, but some is here too–I LOVE science. I had an amazing time at this conference, so now/not now/eventually/or whatever I need to decide, grad school?? genetic counselling?? What do I do with my life?

6. Alex/Lena/Aspen/Relationships. For whatever reason, I’ve hit a stride with relationships. Between the boyfriend/the best friend/having a daughter/being a daughter, I would just like to say I have been rocking out all of these things. Alex and I are doing great. Aspen’s on campus more (getting her Masters in Planning (amazzzinggg)) so we get to see each other more, Lena is just, Lena, and my parents and I have been getting along so well. It’s incredible. I hope I can keep it up, because jeez, this is how it should be.

7. Speaking of relationships, I feel like I’m only just beginning to get to know my grandmother. I got to spend some time with her while I was in DC, and wow, she is a really amazing woman. I will without a doubt be writing more about that.

8. With all of this it’s really hard to grasp the fact that I’m only 23. Sometimes I feel self-conscious about it. People that aren’t in my situation tend to look at their own experiences and say to me, ‘but you’ve never lived away from home, you haven’t traveled a lot, you haven’t had a lot of jobs’ and I used to think that that was the only range of experience people were supposed to have. Like in your twenties you’re supposed to move to a big city and be poor or go to China and teach english or be a bike messenger or work on a manuscript, and I thought that was how it was supposed to be. But I’m just kind of realizing, you know what? I think I’m going to be on the board of directors and be a soccer mom in my 20s, and see where the world takes me. For one of the first times in my life (now, right now) I’m learning to not be so apologetic for my actions and decisions. And only you can make yourself feel inferior. And the next time someone “feels sorry” for me, I’m gonna be like, don’t. Please don’t. I get to play Left for Dead before picking up my kid at daycare. I get to stand and watch my kid chase a soccer ball while drinking coffee and baileys at 9 am on a saturday. I have a best friend. I have a family. I said this to Alex last night, and he called me out on it, in such a good way. I am so blessed. There’s not really a better way to put it. Blessed. And I’m only 23. And I’ve got my whole life to live. My whole life! Gosh, can you just imagine it?

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