Marriage

February 17, 2011 § 1 Comment

My brain is like, inundated with weddings right now. I’m going to two weddings this spring/summer, which is like, two more than I’ve been to as a consenting adult AND a with a date, so I’m really excited about the prospects of an open bar and a new dress. Oh, and you know, a celebration of love. That too.

And then one of my best friend’s since, not third grade, because I didn’t really know who she was in third grade, she started school late because she had the chicken pox, and we didn’t know who the new kid Charliss was, but since middle school at least, goes and gets herself engaged (congrats Chala!) and now I really am like, obsessed.

Don’t get all weird on me, I’m not obsessed-obsessed, it’s just fun. It’s a super big party, and it’s fun hearing about wedding dresses and choreographed dances, and it’s even more fun when it’s Charliss, and it’s closer to home, plus, have you planned a wedding lately? Do you know how many beautifully designed blogs dedicated entirely to wedding planning there are? (I love this one in particular. Is everyone in southern California this beautiful and creative?) And Anthropologie has a wedding line? I digress.

It’s bittersweet, because my uncle is going through a tough divorce and Charliss is the first of our friends to get engaged and living at home means that every day I am witness to my parents marriage which seems to be the most comfortable natural thing in the world. I used to not think my parents loved each other, because they didn’t seem affectionate in the way that I thought married couples should be affectionate, and then they never did corny things like “date nights”, they just seemed to generally enjoy each other’s company. That’s friends, not love, to a middle schooler. And as I’m “maturing” or just, getting older, I see my parent’s marriage and my relationship with my parents as something to aspire to. My parents are best friends, they spend almost all day together, each and every day. And I love the little bits of affection that I’m privy to. Like when my dad got his grant, and I listened to them stay up late and talking in bed. (Seriously, until like, 10. That is really late for my parents.) And the way they talk to each other every morning, and night when one of them goes out of town. Why do you need to talk to someone right before they go to bed and when they first wake up in the morning? Nothing happened, you were just sleeping! I guess that’s what people in love do.

Having Lena means any relationship that I’m in is immediately taken to another level whether I like it or not. Alex and I already understand that we have a third person depending on us, on our relationship, and that’s hard. It’s a variable that neither of us bargained for and that we are constantly working to understand and to work through. That being said, marriage doesn’t seem like a big scary next step to me. Not that it’s supposed to, I just sometimes wonder if it should. I’m 20-something and I’m supposed to be wanting to get married, right? But I’m not. I’m more excited about attending all of these fun weddings. And cheering on my best friend in her next step, and her celebration of love. I’m more looking forward to the next challenges that Lena brings. The little day to day ones. And I’m really looking forward to facing and sharing those with another one of my best friends, Alex.

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