Kids these days.
November 5, 2010 § Leave a comment
Have you guys read this post? It’s this awesome woman defending her son’s choice to be Daphne for Halloween. Not surprisingly at all, it’s not the kids that ridicule or judge him, but the parents (Or, let’s be honest, other moms.) The best line is when Our Heroic Mom says, “I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.”
Go her. Go unconditionally loving your kids.
Which brings me to my point. Lena is growing up. And I’m loving every minute of it. And then I read and hear all of these things about bullies and school and girls and bullies and I’m just like, how do I legitimately shield my kid from all of these things. What if she’s bullied at school, what if, (maybe even worse) she’s the bully?
One answer is, don’t worry about it.
The other is, you know what? I don’t think that will happen. Because we’ve sort of learned that it’s the parents that impose all of these things on their kids. Kids are incredibly forgiving, loving, little sponges of tiny humans. I can only lead by example, and Lena is already becoming a happy, thankful, polite little kid. (Okay, with exceptions. Like that time at the grocery store when Lena said very loudly “Where is that MAN going,” and it was clearly a woman. SOCIETY’S STANDARDS.)
It’s not our kids we have to worry about.
Not-so-secret-revelation: I get stressed out going to daycare. I think that every other parent is judging me. For what I wear, how young I am, p.s. every woman there is like a foot taller than me (not exactly true). It doesn’t really help that I work in a lab and therefore don’t have to look nice, and a lot of Lena’s friends’ parents are MDs and the like, so THEY always look, you know, fit and well kept, and I just want to say YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE IN MY LAB LOOK LIKE, but you know, I don’t, anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. I’m self conscious. I can’t help it. I feel like I don’t belong.
And then today, I’m standing next to our car waiting for this little girl Gretchen to get buckled in to the car next to us, and she says, “Lena’s mommy, Lena’s mommy. Look at my dinosaur!” And as I leaned over to look I just thought to myself, hey, Lena’s mommy. That’s me. And kids don’t question that. Gretchen sees me pick up Lena and take care of her and take her home, and that’s what a mom is. Because that’s what her parents do to her. And there aren’t any other questions. She’s 3, of course there aren’t. She doesn’t think, oh she’s too young to be a mom. She doesn’t care that I’m wearing sneakers or I haven’t washed my hair in a few days. She sees me taking care of Lena, and that’s all she needs to know. I’m Lena’s mom.
And Lena knows that too. And that’s all that really matters.
Kids these days. They’re going to be okay. They’re going to be, because they already are.