late night thoughts

April 16, 2010 § 1 Comment

I really like Dexter Strickland. Have I mentioned that here yet? I mean the guy has some moves. Yeah he’s made a few really bad turnovers but ALL IN THE PAST. He’s a really good guy. Or, you know, from what I can tell from his twitter account. For instance, found this gem tonight.

Never be afraid to try something new..Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic…gudnite..talk to yal 2morrow..

Wow. That was some knowledge right there. Amateurs built the ark and professionals built the Titanic. Seriously. wowwwwww. I mean not to sully the memories of leo and kate, but dammmnnnnnn.  All I’ve got to say to that is, guess which one I am!

I sort of thought this was the blog for the happy cutesy little things that come with parenting, and sharing nice little vignettes about Lena and daily life. And that is what it’s about. But last entry I sort of mentioned some things about not hiding the truth, and how important it is to realize that nothing is really as it seems, and we’re all really just trying our best and telling everyone we’re okay when we’re not.  (more or less, cut me some slack, it’s late.)

So to be completely honest, to everyone, but more importantly, to myself, this is hard, and I need help. Sustaining myself with happy thoughts of the future is getting harder and harder as the nights get longer and longer. Lena’s smiles are tucked into bed, and I have yet to find the balance of sleep and personal time, between work, “commuting” dinnertime, bathtime, and bedtime.

I haven’t found this balance and it’s taking a toll. On me and a few people around me.

So here it is.

Rachael,

Try your best to work this out yourself. Really, try your best. But don’t be ashamed to ask for help. Don’t be ashamed. Ask for help. You can do this. I know you can.

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